Intentional Living Series Week Eighteen:The Crazymaker In Your Life

by Christine

{Abandoned building on Miami Beach, Florida}

"If you respect your own no, other will, too."

In week 17, I discussed how we use fear to keep us from living our priorities. This week I will look at how others can keeps us from following our LLP. 

Years ago I started dating a guy who came into my life like an all consuming natural disaster. He was fun, high energy, completely self-absorbed and potentially destructive. For a time it was exhilarating. He traveled a great deal for his job and started calling me at the end of his day because he had to hear my voice before turning in for the evening.  The first time he called at midnight and woke me from a sound sleep declaring that talking to me was the highlight of his day, I was flatter even though I knew it would take me hours to get back to sleep and that the next day I would be dragging. I thought this was a one-off event so was genuinely surprised to get another late night call a couple of days later. Gently, I explained that I was one of those people that needed her sleep and that to do the job I loved I needed uninterrupted sleep. I asked that he not call again after 10:00 PM on a work night. The THIRD time he called, I realized he was a Crazymaker and we weren't going to have much of a future. Our relationship ended shortly thereafter. 

Crazymaker is a term coined by the author Julia Cameron in her book The Artist's Way. Crazymakers, in a nutshell, are those individuals who wreck havoc on the lives of others by making everything about them. You know that friend or family member, the one who wants you to watch her kids because you are the only one in the whole world she trusts even though you told her two days earlier that today was the day you needed to bake and decorate 50 cupcakes for you kids school and take your aging mother to the doctors. Or maybe your Crazymaker calls at 11:30 in the evening to discuss the on going saga of her philandering spouse/boyfriend even though you told her earlier in the day that you have a big presentation at work the next day that could lead to a promotion. Crazymakers can and will disrupt the lives of others if allowed. 

I have personally observed that the more committed an individual becomes to living an intentional life, the stronger the boundaries need to be with a Crazymaker. Sometime you may even need to evict them from your life.  As you have worked to follow your Lifetime Priority Plan, is there someone in your life who refuses to respect your boundaries? Is there a Crazymaker who even after repeated requests to honor you priorities and time continues to zap your energy, disrupt your plans and minimize your goals? To accomplish your priorities, you will need to learn how to live with or without the Crazymakers in your life.

Week 18 Assignment: During your Morning 30, take some time to think about the people in your life. Do you live with a Crazymaker? If so, how do you handle them? What will it take from you and them to set appropriate boundaries? 


Get caught up on the entire Intentional Living series: